This is a review of the English version of Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka, licensed by Seven Seas Entertainment.
Another volume 2. Chapter 1 was previously covered here.
Chapter 2 has roughly twice the amount of nuance differences as chapter 1, so it’s divided into two entries.
This one is about the first half of chapter 2.
page 43 (Japanese)
Her beauty set my mind whirling around. She was perfect to me, and I found myself wanting to stare at her endlessly, just like I was now.
取り分け外見については、なんでここまで、という思いが渦巻くほどに整っている。私の理想なのかもしれない。だから気を抜くとつい、こうやっていつまでも眺めようとしてしまう。
Loss of details: 取り分け and かもしれない are gone.
Especially with her appearance—she is so well-groomed that it sets my mind swirling. She might be my ideal type. So when I let my thoughts wander, I end up wanting to stare at her endlessly, just like I am now.
It was like the bright sunlight of spring was bathing my heart, warm and fragrant.
春の陽気が心にまで届いているのが分かる。暖かく、香り良い。そんな錯覚を起こすほどに、心は前を向いていた。
Loss of details: そんな錯覚を起こすほどに、心は前を向いていた。 is gone.
There was so much positivity in my heart that it could feel the spring sunshine, warm and fragrant.
page 44 (Japanese)
I got my things together a little more quickly than usual, and we left the classroom together.
帰り支度をする手が、少し焦る。
七海燈子は生徒会志望で、私もそれに誘われていたのだった。
私を誘った理由は、見た目が真面目そうだから、らしい。
用意が済んでから、二人で教室を出る。
Loss of details: lines 七海燈子は生徒会志望で、私もそれに誘われていたのだった。 through 用意が済んでから、 are gone.
I got my things together a little hastily.
Nanami Touko wanted to join the student council, and I had been invited to do so, too.
The reason why she invited me seemed to be because I looked serious.
After getting ready, we left the classroom together.
page 46 (Japanese)
And it didn’t make sense for anyone to praise me for it, either.
賞賛されるのも筋が通らない。そういうこだわりみたいなものが、気持ちに陰りを与えるのだと思う。
Loss of details: そういうこだわりみたいなものが、気持ちに陰りを与えるのだと思う。 is gone.
It doesn’t make sense for anyone to praise me for it, either. I think that’s what casts a cloud over my feelings.
This time, it was my turn to exclaim in wonder at her.
今度はこちらが唸る番だった。
Extraneous implication: now Sayaka seems to make a loud noise.
This time, it was my turn to hum thoughtfully.
page 50 (Japanese)
Kuze-senpai admitted. Laughing, the black-haired upperclassman stood up as Kuze continued to protest.
久瀬先輩が力なく同意すると、黒髪の先輩が笑いながら席を立つ。
Why were the honorifics for Kuze-senpai dropped right after using them?
When Kuze-senpai weakly agreed, the black-haired upperclassman laughed and left her seat.
“I’m sorry, we shouldn’t be having a upperclassman serve us like this.”
「すみません、先輩にさせてしまって」
Improper grammar.
an upperclassman
page 52 (Japanese)
One of the upperclassmen cut him off briskly, while the other male upperclassman watched their exchange in silence.
先輩が流す。そうしたやり取りを、もう一人の男子の先輩は黙って眺めていた。
Concerning 先輩: now Sayaka seems unable to keep track of her upperclassmen.
There are only three upperclassmen in the student council: Kuze-senpai (later known as President Kuze), Senpai (the girl with short black hair, the one who does any work), and the other male upperclassman (the light-haired boy who does not have any lines). It is established in the manga that Sayaka calls the female upperclassman Senpai.
Senpai brushed him off. The other male upperclassman watched their exchange in silence.
It was Nanami Touko who asked me that, not one of the upperclassman.
先輩ではなく隣の七海燈子が質問してくる。
Same change in nuance as the previous example. Also, improper grammar.
The question didn’t come from Senpai but from Nanami Touko, who sat next to me.
Nanami held the coffee creamers without opening them as she looked around the student council room.
七海燈子はコーヒーミルクを摘んだまま、蓋も開けないで生徒会室を眺めていた。
Wrong way of referring to Touko.
Sayaka uses Touko’s full name in her thoughts.
Nanami Touko
page 54 (Japanese)
But now that I had started walking home instead, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Maybe it wasn’t really that much of a lie, after all.
でも歩きで通えるようになってみると思ったよりも楽で、そこまで噓でもなかったなぁと思う。
電話で時刻を確かめてから、真っ暗になった画面を見つめる。
あれから、あの人が電話をかけてくることはない。正直、ほっとしていた。
Loss of details: 電話で時刻を確かめてから、真っ暗になった画面を見つめる。 and あれから、あの人が電話をかけてくることはない。正直、ほっとしていた。 are gone.
But now that I had started walking home instead, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Maybe it wasn’t really that much of a lie, after all.
After checking the time on my phone, I stared at its darkened screen.
That person hadn’t called me since then. To be honest, I was relieved.
page 57 (Japanese)
“Whoa, your leftovers from yesterday look so pretty packed in there.”
「わぁ、昨日の残り物が綺麗に詰めてある」
Wrong subject.
Manaka comments on her own lunch.
“Wow, yesterday’s leftovers are packed so tidily.”
Igarashi-san was often exasperated with Yoshida-san for this reason, but they were generally always together during lunch breaks.
五十嵐さんの方はそんな吉田さんに呆れることが多い。でも昼休みに限らず、大抵一緒に行動している。
Loss of details: 限らず is gone.
Igarashi-san is often exasperated with Yoshida-san for this reason. But they are generally always together, not just during lunch breaks.
page 58-59 (Japanese)
I’d never had friends with a personality like hers before, so when Yoshida-san spoke, I sometimes didn’t know how to react.
Igarashi-san didn’t bother engaging with her response.
私のこれまでの交友になかった性格なので、吉田さんが発言すると戸惑ってしまうこともある。
でも多分、言ってみただけで意味はないのだろう。五十嵐さんも特に相手にしていない。
Loss of details: でも多分、言ってみただけで意味はないのだろう。 is gone.
I’ve never had friends with a personality like hers before, so when Yoshida-san speaks, I sometimes don’t know how to react.
But maybe it would be meaningless to say something. Igarashi-san doesn’t bother engaging with her response, either.
For a moment, I thought of the face of my Senpai from my junior high school days.
一瞬、中学時代の先輩の顔が思い浮かぶ。
Wrong way of referring to Senpai.
Sayaka using “my Senpai” is completely out of character.
For a moment, the face of Senpai from my junior high school days came to mind.
page 63 (Japanese)
When lunch ended, I tried to naturally call out to Nanami Touko as she stood up.
昼休みが終わる頃、立ち上がった七海燈子を、さりげなく呼んでみようとする。
Concerning 昼休みが終わる頃: now lunch seems to be over, even though Manaka continues to eat.
Lunch break is nearing its end.
Around the end of lunch break, I tried to casually call out to Nanami Touko as she stood up.
page 67 (Japanese)
Though I had been so attracted to her that I forgot to consider that, Nanami Touko and I were both girls.
その外見に心惹かれて色々な悩みを放り出してしまったけれど、私と七海燈子は、女同士だ。
Extraneous implication: now Sayaka seems to have forgotten to consider something.
Though I’ve been so attracted to her appearance that I abandoned many of my worries, Nanami Touko and I are both girls.
page 68-69 (Japanese)
Manaka admitted.
愛果があっさりと納得する。
Loss of details: あっさり is gone.
Manaka easily accepted it.
Nanami Touko showed no trace of enthusiasm about the exams.
七海燈子は試験への気負いなんてものをまるで見せることなく、いつも通りの放課後を選ぶ。
Loss of details: いつも通りの放課後を選ぶ is gone.
Nanami Touko shows no trace of fervor about the exam, choosing to go about her day as usual.
page 70-71 (Japanese)
It felt strange to receive such ready praise from Nanami Touko.
七海燈子に簡単に褒められて、どこがと聞き返しそうになった。
Loss of details: どこがと聞き返しそうになった is gone.
Nanami Touko praised me breezily. What is? I nearly asked.
I had been negligent in my studies during the latter half of my third year in junior high, so this was a good opportunity to turn things around.
中学三年の後半は勉強が疎かになっていたから、振り返るいい機会でもあった。
あの時に見失ったものを取り返すように、丁寧に拾いあげていく。
本棚の隅を一瞥して、すぐにまた机に向き合う。
Loss of details: あの時に見失ったものを取り返すように、丁寧に拾いあげていく。 and 本棚の隅を一瞥して、すぐにまた机に向き合う。 are gone.
I had been negligent in my studies during the latter half of my third year in junior high, so this was a good opportunity to turn things around.
I will thoroughly pick up my knowledge to recover I had lost back then.
I glance at the corner of my bookshelf and immediately face the desk again.
I couldn’t tell whether the words that slipped from my mouth were expressing dissatisfaction or simply stating the truth before my eyes. I kept on looking at the names from within the hustle and bustle of the crowd.
自分の口から出たそれが不満なのか、それとも、遙か高い山の頂を見上げるようにただ目の前の事実を述べただけなのか。そのあたりを摑み取れないまま、喧噪の中で見つめ続ける。
Loss of details: 遙か高い山の頂を見上げるように and そのあたりを摑み取れないまま are gone.
Were the words that slipped from my mouth expressing dissatisfaction? Or were they simply stating the facts before my eyes, as if I were looking up at the summit of a high mountain? Unable to figure it out, I continue to stare at the names from within the hustle and bustle of the crowd.
page 72 (Japanese)
“Just kidding. No, the truth is that I studied plenty, of course.”
「なんてね。だったらいいんだけど、うん、もちろん勉強はしたよ」
Loss of details: だったらいいんだけど is gone.
“Just kidding. I wish that were the case, but yeah, of course I studied plenty.”
page 73-74 (Japanese)
Especially since Manaka normally acted the airhead.
普段の言動がふんわりしているというか……とぼけている感じがしていたものだから、余計に。
Loss of details: というか……とぼけている感じがしていた is gone.
Especially since Manaka normally behaved so airily…or rather, it felt like she plays the fool.
page 75-76 (Japanese)
“They really haven’t come yet.”
When my female upperclassman said that, I agreed with a sigh. “No sign of them at all.”
「本当に来ませんね」
女子の先輩に言うと、「いやまったく」と深々同意する。
Wrong subject.
The female upperclassman knows the two boys rarely show up.
“They really aren’t coming.”
When I said that to my female upperclassman, she deeply agreed, “They sure aren’t.”
For some reason, she didn’t add a -chan to Nanami Touko’s name, though I did have a feeling as to why.
なぜか七海燈子にはちゃんが付かない。感覚として分かるものはあるけれど。
今日は今のところ、生徒会室に先輩と二人きりだった。
Loss of details: 今日は今のところ、生徒会室に先輩と二人きりだった。 is gone.
For some reason, she didn’t add a -chan to Nanami Touko’s name, though I did have a feeling as to why.
Today, so far, I was alone with Senpai in the student council room.
The clouds spread throughout the sky like white-capped waves, and the sun was dim, as though it had sunk into the bottom of the ocean.
空は雲が白波のように広がり、太陽を海の底に沈めたみたいに薄暗い。
Concerning 太陽を海の底に沈めたみたいに薄暗い: now the sun seems to be dim. Is there an eclipse?
The sky is dim because it is cloudy.
The sky was dim with clouds spread out like white-capped waves, as though the sun had sunk into the bottom of the ocean.
page 80-81 (Japanese)
I couldn’t deny that I was making a big deal out of it.
愛果やみどりと比べて、大げさであろうことは否めない。
Loss of details: 愛果やみどりと比べて is gone.
I couldn’t deny that I was making a big deal out of it, compared to Manaka and Midori.
“Thank you.”
「それは光栄ね……」
Concerning 光栄: now Sayaka seems to give a generic response.
Sayaka uses this phrase in volume 1 chapter 2 when she met Touko, and in a later volume 2 chapter 2 scene.
“That’s quite an honor…”
page 85 (Japanese)
We kept peering into the space even after it was deserted for a while. Finally Touko urged me, “Let’s go,” and we ended our little detour.
無人となってからも少しの間、その空間を覗いていたけれどやがて燈子に「行こう」と促して寄り道を終える。
Wrong subject.
Sayaka gets Touko back on track.
We kept peering into the space even after it was deserted for a while, but eventually I urged Touko, “Let’s go,” and we ended our little detour.
page 86 (Japanese)
“Serizawa, huh… I wonder if she’s in the same club as Ogaki-kun?” Touko put her hand to her chin, nodding thoughtfully. She seemed to know the boy somehow, too.
“He’s not in the same class as her?”
“Ogaki-kun is in our class.”
…Is he?
“Right, of course,” I mumbled vaguely.
Touko’s eyes went round.
「芹澤かぁ。……大垣君とは、同じ部活だったかな？」
燈子が顎に手を添えて唸る。男子の方も知り合いなのだろうか。
「同じクラスじゃないわよね？」
「大垣君はうちのクラスだよ」
……あれ？
「そう、だったわね」
歯切れ悪く噓を吐くと、燈子が目を丸くする。
This is inconsistent with how the publisher translates 大垣 in the manga. Also, improper grammar and wrong subject. Loss of details: 噓を吐くと is gone.
Sayaka wants to know how Touko knows him.
“Serizawa, huh. …Is she in the same club as Oogaki-kun?”
Touko puts her hand on her chin, humming thoughtfully. She seems to know the boy somehow, too.
“He isn’t in the same class as us, is he?”
“Oogaki-kun is in our class.”
…Huh?
“Right, he is.”
When I mumble my lie, Touko’s eyes go round.
page 89 (Japanese)
“Are you saying my way of thinking is outdated?”
「考え方に皺がある？」
Extraneous implication: now Sayaka seems to ask if her way of thinking is invalid.
“Is my way of thinking old-fashioned?”
page 93 (Japanese)
Her voice was cold, as though she would reject anyone trying to touch on the subject.
誰に触れられることも拒絶するような、冷たい感触。
その意思を崩さないまま、一歩先を進む燈子は言う。
Loss of details: その意思を崩さないまま、一歩先を進む燈子は言う。 is gone.
It felt cold, as though she would reject anyone trying to touch on the subject.
Without breaking her intent, Touko moves a step ahead and speaks.
There were so many things I couldn’t see, that Nanami Touko wouldn’t let me see—her weaknesses, her ugliness, her cowardice, her inferiority complex, her jealousy, her trauma, her real self, her public face, her hatred, her timidity, self-denial, her biases, her disposition, her hostility, her spitefulness, and all the many other dark things hidden inside her.
七海燈子のすべて。
見えていない、見せようとしない弱さ汚さ卑劣さ劣等感嫉妬トラウマ本音建前嫌悪憎悪卑屈自己否定偏愛性癖敵意悪意その他多数の後ろ暗いものの数々。
Loss of details: 嫌悪 is gone.
The list pairs words: weakness and dirtiness, baseness and inferiority complex, jealousy and trauma, true feelings and public face, disgust and hatred, servility and self-denial, predilections and proclivities, hostility and spitefulness.
All of Nanami Touko.
There is so much I can’t see, that she won’t show—her weakness, dirtiness, baseness, inferiority complex, jealousy, trauma, true feelings, public face, disgust, hatred, servility, self-denial, predilections, proclivities, hostility, spitefulness, and the many other dark things.
page 96 (Japanese)
One of the upperclassmen looked at Touko and I in turn.
先輩が私と燈子へ順繰りに視線を送る。
Concerning 先輩: now Sayaka seems unable to keep track of her upperclassmen.
There are only three upperclassmen in the student council: Kuze-senpai (later known as President Kuze), Senpai (the girl with short black hair, the one who does any work), and the other male upperclassman (the light-haired boy who does not have any lines).
Senpai looked at Touko and I in turn.
“One of your underclassman, President Kuze?”
「久瀬会長の後輩？」
Improper grammar.
underclassmen
“Sayaka-chan, Touko, I think you’d have an easier time next year if you also invited some underclassman… If you have any, that is,” one of the upperclassmen advised us. I wondered if she didn’t have any prospective underclassmen recruits herself.
「沙弥香ちゃんや燈子も、後輩がいるなら声かけとくと来年楽できる……かもね」
先輩が忠告してくる。そう言う先輩はアテがなかったのだろうか。
いたとしても生徒会に誘って色よい返事は難しそうだ。
Improper grammar. Concerning 後輩がいるなら声かけとくと来年楽できる……かもね: now the upperclassman seems to question whether Sayaka and Touko have any underclassmen. Concerning 先輩: now Sayaka seems unable to keep track of her upperclassmen. Loss of details: いたとしても生徒会に誘って色よい返事は難しそうだ。 is gone.
Senpai thinks inviting underclassmen might make things easier. There are only three upperclassmen in the student council: Kuze-senpai (later known as President Kuze), Senpai (the girl with short black hair, the one who does any work), and the other male upperclassman (the light-haired boy who does not have any lines).
“Sayaka-chan, Touko, if either of you know some underclassmen, you should invite them, too. It’ll make your next year easier…probably.”
Senpai advised us. I wonder if she didn’t have any prospective underclassmen recruits herself.
Even if she did, it seemed it was difficult to get a positive answer from them.
“I went to Tomosumi for junior high, so none of my underclassman will come here, I’m sure.”
「中学校は友澄だったから、こっちに来る子はいないわね」
Improper grammar.
“I went to Tomosumi for junior high, so I don’t see any of mine coming here.”
page 98 (Japanese)
For some reason, something about it felt artificial to me.
ごく自然に見えるその態度に、しかし装っているとどこかで感じてしまうのはなぜだろう。やっぱり、最初の驚きのせいだろうか。
Loss of details: ごく自然に見えるその態度に、しかし and やっぱり、最初の驚きのせいだろうか。 are gone.
Her attitude seemed very natural, but for some reason, something about it felt artificial. Was it because of her initial surprise?
page 100-101 (Japanese)
I’m sure she had her reasons…but I wanted her to share those reasons with me.
I wondered what I needed for that to happen. Trust? Friendship? Or was it love?
きっと、色々ある。……そんなことは、誰にでも分かる。
私はその色々を、燈子と共有したい。
そのためには一体、なにが必要なのだろう？
信頼？ 友情？ それとも、愛情？
取りあえずそのどれもが、一方通行では成り立たないことだけは私も知っていた。
Loss of details: ……そんなことは、誰にでも分かる。 and 取りあえずそのどれもが、一方通行では成り立たないことだけは私も知っていた。 are gone.
I’m sure she has her reasons. …Anyone can understand that.
But I want her to share those reasons with me.
What exactly do I need for that to happen?
Trust? Friendship? Or is it love?
At any rate, I knew that none of them could be a one-way street.
Touko shook her head lightly.
燈子の顔が左右に緩く振れた。返事は、私に向いているようで宙をさまよっていた。
Loss of details: 返事は、私に向いているようで宙をさまよっていた。 is gone.
Touko shook her head lightly. Her reply, seemingly directed at me, lingered in the air.
page 102 (Japanese)
Touko and I could be alone together just by ducking behind this wall.
壁一つ越えただけで、燈子と二人きりになれる。
Concerning 壁一つ越えた: now Sayaka and Touko seem to be hiding, even though the bench is in plain sight.
Sayaka and Touko went from inside to outside the student council room.
Just by crossing one wall, Touko and I could be alone together.
page 104-105 (Japanese)
Using the results of my calligraphy practice, I had written president Kuze’s full name out in large script.
習字の稽古の賜として、久瀬会長の姓名を大々的に書き上げた。
This is inconsistent with how the publisher translates 久瀬会長, which is with an uppercase “P”.
President Kuze
“No, it’s not nearly this disorderly.”
“Disorderly, you say…”
「こんなに落ち着かない感じはしなくて、もっと整っているわ」
「落ち着かない……」
Loss of details: もっと整っているわ is gone.
“It doesn’t feel this restless—it’s more orderly.”
“Restless…”
page 107 (Japanese)
Touko gave me a wry smile—one that reminded me of trees resisting a gale.
燈子に苦笑されてしまう。強い風に抗うように反り返る木々を連想する。
もう少し、肩の力を抜いた方がよかっただろうか。
Loss of details: もう少し、肩の力を抜いた方がよかっただろうか。 is gone.
Touko gave me a wry smile—one that reminded me of trees resisting a gale.
Should I have relaxed my shoulders a little more?
page 109 (Japanese)
I wondered what this meant to Touko.
明朗に希望を語る燈子の中では、どんな繫がりが生まれているのか。
Loss of details: 明朗に希望を語る is gone.
What kind of connection do they have, as Touko describes her aspiration so clearly?
page 110-111 (Japanese)
The student council was going to be busy enough working on the cultural festival in addition to its regular tasks. Adding rehearsals for a play on top of all that seemed like a dizzying amount of work.
文化祭なら様々な割り振りといった生徒会本来の活動も忙しくなるだろうし、そこに演劇の練習を追加したら目の回る忙しさになりそうだ。
Loss of details: 様々な割り振りといった is gone.
This follows the manga, particularly volume 2 episode 6.
The student council would be busy enough with their task of assigning various things for the cultural festival, and adding rehearsals for a play on top of that seemed like a dizzying amount of work.
I decided I wanted to give her the response she was expecting.
私は、それに望む形で応えたいと思う。
だから。
Loss of details: だから。 is gone. The publisher preserves this kind of single phrase in a later volume 2 chapter 2 scene, so why did they remove it here?
I want to give her a response in the shape she desires.
That is why…
Next is the latter half of chapter 2.
Aletheia 